Sometimes when life gets overwhelming and situations or relationships become tense and strained, I want to just hide away with Chris. I want to pull our sheets high above our heads and lay in bed for hours and hours. No phones, no computers. No one but just us. Let the sun fill the room and expose our sleepy faces. To feel the peacefulness of closing my eyes and feeling his chest rise and fall with breath. Or I want to pack up the car with just a bag, some books, and the pups and retreat to a mountain cabin. Spend days upon days enjoying life and what it truly offers. To wake up and go running. To explore in the afternoons and read at night on the porch. To feel unexpected happiness of new routines.
Sadly, my anxiety is toeing the line of being unbearable and destructive. And my panic attacks have returned. Despite all those daydreams that unfold in my head each night of freedom, I know I have to find a real way to zero myself back to being in a healthy emotional mindset/state. Chris and I were thrown a challenging curve ball this week, but I have to keep strong in taking steps and trying to keep positive that I/we am in control of my/our life.
I feel so lucky to have Chris, family and friends supporting me. Encouraging me to be open and talk as well as accepting change, or changing what needs to be changed.
Photos from last October while we were in Canada, pictured with my one of adorable nieces, Makenna. I hope my munchkins are as cute as my sister’s.