give me a word i can keep

[ Scarf - Deena & Ozzy via UO, top - Express, skinny jeans - American Eagle, moccasins - BDG via UO ]

Today I…

• woke up early enough to shower and make to school in something other than pajamas—but didn’t straighten my hair
• wore a sweater this morning when it was 36 degrees and didn’t when it warmed up to 73 degrees—I thought it was February? Oklahoma, have you forgotten that its still winter?
• made an eye appointment
• got the chance to show off my new suede moccasins that Chris bought me for our anniversary. i just love ‘em! (and him!)
• had one class outside
• had zero lunch
• ignored the dishes. again. 
• attempted to make a deal with Chris so he’d do the dishes
• am cuddling with Ossie right now. He’s snuggled in my lap
• am getting ready for midterms. study guides, note cards, highlighting.
• am missing my family :’(

it's not what i didn't feel, it's what i didn't show

[ Blouse - Image, top - Forever 21, pants - BDG via UO, flats - WalMart ]

These are shots from Tuesday. Since my and Chris' anniversary is so close to Valentine’s Day, we don’t usually do much celebrating of V-Day. Our romantic evening included eating $1 McChickens, sharing french fries, and a movie marathon. He knows how to please my heart (and stomach). Good man!

I spy another WalMart find! Remember my WalMart find from the summer? This little dress! Well earlier this week I was waiting on some photos to print, I stumbled upon these $14 dollar flats. Now, as you already know I am all about wearing black—and I have seven pairs of black flats. But I’m so picky about the ones I buy that the last pair of black flats I bought was three or four years ago! So I was thrilled to find these shoved onto a shelf. I love the soft imitation leather and the contrast shiny toe—aka a great find!

Moment of the day: Monday it snowed. Monday it was very cold and very windy. Monday I had to go across campus to take an exam. Literally ten yards into my journey, I tripped and fell into a snow drift. Snow/water filled the insides of my gloves. Snow/water completely drenched my pants. Only 120 yards left to go.

Awkward moment of the day: The lady administering the exam notices my wet pants and pink nose, “It cold outside?” I give a polite fake laugh. She tells me to put my backpack against the wall, I dump it and my soggy gloves on the floor against the wall. The lady then says,”Oh honey…you have grass all down your backside.” Yeah, I’m just here to take my exam please.

can we just go ahead and end up together?

*ignore the fact that anniversary is misspelled on the balloon. I was delirious while sneakily trying to do this at 3a

My surprise for my and Chris’ three year anniversary…he woke up to a living room full of balloons!

I’m so lucky to be with a man whose smiles, laughs, and stories are so captivating.
I’m so lucky to be with a man who shamelessly kisses my hand, tickles me, and is still so playful.
I’m so lucky to be with a man who makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world, rather than the crazy, anxious basket case that I am. 

And I am so lucky that this man loves me and wants to spend the rest of my life with me. Because there’s nothing better than hearing those words so genuinely expressed and feeling the exact same.

Here’s to three years and counting…

sparkle & fade

[ Blazer - local shop, necklace - UO, top - Forever 21, pants - BDG via UO,  heels - Alloy ]

Most days I can't say that I'm 80-100% efficient with my time. I like waste a lot of time accomplishing nothing. Like piddling around on the internet, scrolling and clicking at anything remotely interesting. Watching youtube videos and reading people's comments. Making lists, and including things I've already done so I can feel accomplished and cross them out. Recolor code my closet. Watch reality television.

Not today! I woke up at 630a and handled business: went into work early, made a lot of progress on my tasks, helped T with her house hunting, ran errands, and finished homework. Bam. I'm giving all the credit to this rhinestone bib necklace. It's my source of power. Psh, and you were wondering how I was going to wear this bad boy.

As you know I'm not a big wearing jeans fan, but hands down these are the best pair of pants I own--worn before here and here. 

falling temperatures

[ Beanie - unsure, sweater, jeans - American Eagle, top - UO, wedges - Deena & Ozzy via UO ]

First, I’d like to introduce you to my new hair. I took the plunge and got two inches cut off. Two inches cut off? Yeah, I know, it doesn’t look like it. The weird thing is, I’ve been on this mission for the past few years to grow my hair out, grow my hair out, grow my hair out. Well it has. And now what to I do with my life? GET STRAIGHT ACROSS BANGS THAT’S WHAT. 

Second, I’d like to introduce you to my new bangs. I still feeling out my feelings on them.

After zero hours of sleep last night, I had all the time in the world to get ready this morning. As well as time to drag Chris out of bed to take photos. As well as a whole hour of time wasting before my first class.

In all that spare time of not sleeping I have figured out my entire week’s schedule, what I want to wear to work tomorrow, figured out my anniversary surprise for Chris, and decided that I hate Oklahoma weather—ok, I did that last one later in the day. Hate the weather meaning Oklahoma days like today when it’s super freezing in the morning then come midday, it’s irregularly hot. I come out of class wrapped up in a scarf and a hat with people passing me in shorts. So I’m left standing there thinking “Uh…cool. When did this happen? It’s still February right?”

Top seen before here and wedges before here.

worry is to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts or anxieties; fret.

[ Cardigan - BDG via UO, top, leggings, boots, bag -Forever 21, necklace - unsure ]

I really can’t tell you how glad I am that its February. Because I’m assuming that unlike January, February won’t be back to back to back bad days. I’m in that spot where things seem to be piling up fast and its starting to overwhelm me.

How I “cope” aka yesterday:

• Think. Keeping thinking. Over think.  Make lots of lists.
• Drive home, under the speed limit, listening to the same two songs on repeat (and thinking “these artists really get me”) for an hour drive from work. 
• Only to get home aggressively run two miles on the treadmill listening to angry music (and thinking “these artists really get me”). 
• Which leads to brooding in the shower until all the hot water runs out when all I’ve managed to do was wash my face and shave below the knees on both legs. 
• Put demands on Chris. Like two of those insanely delicious Valentine’s Day sugar cookies from Panera and pizza and a depressing movie (which wasn’t so depressing and quite good). And cuddling too, dammit.

But the day ended with me feeling a lot better, despite the fact I accomplished very little (…and the guilt and anxiety creeps back as I write this/am reminded).

Oh, and I get my hair cut/colored this weekend (good) between doing endless amounts of homework (bad) and studying (bad) and the superbowl (good—but only if the Patriots win).